Ramblings of a Crazy Woman

So I came back, and now my blog looks even different than when I left it last time.  I just don't get it.  I figured out how to change a couple of things, but certainly not all.  Oh well.  I guess that's not the most important part, right?

Tonight I was talking to a friend about how cool it is to have big kids.  It really is.  Don't get me wrong--I totally loved having my babies and my little kids, and big kids come with different challenges than the little guys, but this is a lot of fun.  I like being able to go to movies with my whole family, not thinking that one child is too young for that particular film.  I like being able to play games with everyone, knowing that everyone can understand the rules and not have to be on someone's "team."  I like that we can discuss gospel topics more in-depth than before.  I like that my kids can go to scout camp for the summer and be okay away from home.  I like that my baby will be 12 next month and be ordained a deacon.  That means all the boys in my house will have the Priesthood--how cool is that?

Every time someone started Kindergarten, got baptized, received the Priesthood, got a job, graduated from high school, got a mission call, went on and returned from said mission, it's like a new level of family life.  This is what it's all about.  Aren't we supposed to love those babies and raise them so they can grow up, move out and be productive citizens?  I haven't had to experience the permanent "move out" part yet, but I know it will come.  I know what's in store in the next couple of years for us, and it's weird to think about it, but also really exciting.

I truly cannot imagine life without my kids.  And how can people have just one?  I can't picture it at all.  These guys are my life.  I was talking to another friend today about when I started working several (14) years ago.  I can't even tell you how many people said, oh that's so wonderful--now you'll get some "Sally time."  Now you can really be yourself.  What does that mean?  I'm not "me" at work and someone else at home.  In fact, I think I'm more "me" at home than anywhere else.  That is who I am.  That is who I want to be.  All the rest are different hats you put on.  At Primary I am the lady who stands up in front.  One little boy calls me the "lady with the lipstick."  Does no one else wear any, or did he see me put it on once?  I don't know.  I get to run around and figure out what to do when we have teachers who don't show up.  I get to make a few decisions.  I get to have parents wonder what the heck I'm doing.  And I get to have kids unhappy because I might not do things the way the last person did it.

At work I get to figure out problems that I don't have at home.  I get to sit in front of a computer and deal with people who aren't always happy or kind.  But there are also those I look forward to helping because they are happy and kind.

In Sharing Time I gave a little lesson on being kind.  Am I kind?  Um, my kids would probably say no.  I know there are times in my life when I've been more kind than others.  Sometimes I catch myself thinking and/or saying unkind things--how many times do I not catch it?  It isn't hard to be kind, but it seems to be easier to look for the reasons not to be.  Okay, okay, sing the song--Kindness Begins With Me.  Bite your tongue.  Does that really work?  I'll let you know.

Yesterday I weighed in at Weight Watchers and lost enough to get my money back.  We sign up for a 12-week program and if we reach our goal, we get our money back from work.  How awesome is that?  I first started in May last year--I lost 25 pounds during the first session and 10 more the second.  Then they decided not to do it again, which was over Thanksgiving and Christmas, so of course I just didn't worry about it and gained about 8 pounds back.  How dumb was that?  Then I started again this year, but had a lot on my mind during the first session (that's my excuse--Taylor was coming home), and I barely lost any, but enough.  Same with the second.  Not that I had a lot on my mind, I was just lazy.  Well, maybe not lazy, just not really diligent.  Is that better than lazy?  Not much, I'm sure.  Anyway, I lost exactly enough.  I was so relieved I can't even tell you.  But so grateful!  Now I'm ready to sign up again and really, truly be diligent.  I need to lose another 24 pounds in order to reach the goal weight they have set for me and attain Lifetime Status.  I would really be happy with another 15, or 20, or maybe just the 24.  Okay, fine.  We'll go with the 24.  That's really where I should be.  And I can do it!  I'm thinking thin.  I picture myself thin.  I try to think how a thin person eats--although I still just eat.  My thin friend leaves some food on her plate, doesn't gobble, and doesn't eat just because it's there.  I still have a lot to learn about how to eat, I guess.  My eating issues aren't really the right issues--I can't say I'm a nervous eater or a depressed eater or anything like that.  I just like to eat.  Food tastes good and so I eat it.  If there's more, I want more.  I like it when it's hot, not when it's sat out for awhile.  Maybe that's why people are thin--it sits out and then it gets nasty so they don't eat it.  Is that why you slow down?  There's a thought.  But what a waste!!!

Okay, I've rambled on long enough.  Enough!