Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Well I'm trying to "fix" my blog and I think I'm just making a bigger mess of things. It's been months since I've opened this up, and now when I do, the background is kind of strange. The whole setup is different and I'm so lame I can't quite figure out what to do. I'm trying! I need one of my nifty nieces here to fix it for me, then I could just type. I've felt strange not writing anything. Taylor is home and I don't have his blog to work with every week, and I've totally neglected my own. Not that anyone is missing anything in my life, since life just goes on, right? But needless to say, I feel like I should be writing. I'll post this and then see if I can fix again!
Monday, February 13, 2012
I have to say it is harder to send a missionary than it was to be one. A former mission president where I work told me that it's totally the ultimate sacrifice to send out a missionary, and I completely agree.
As a missionary, I was just excited to go and have this great adventure. Sending my son was incredibly difficult, just like taking him to Kindergarten that first day. I knew he needed to go, I wanted him to go, but I wanted him home where I could always take care of him. I bawled and bawled and didn't think he could make it without me. But he did then, and he has now.
My little boy comes home in 9 days, and now I'm wondering if I can survive not having a missionary out in the field. He was safe. I knew where he was and what he was doing. He was truly on the Lord's errand and His servant. I understood his experiences because I had some of the same experiences. I was glad he was there, doing what he'd planned for his whole life.
Don't misunderstand, I'm thrilled to have him home, but I have truly enjoyed the blessings of supporting a missionary; financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I am so grateful for this wonderful opportunity he has had to teach the gospel, serve the Lord, learn a new language, broaden his horizons by seeing people in a different country and learning about their lives, culture, food and even their weather. I will be sad that he has to leave that, just as I was sad to leave the people I had learned to love and feel at home with on my mission. It will be hard to know that he has to come home and face "real life" and be part of the contributing adults to society. I know he'll miss having that spiritual mantel that he was blessed with when he was set apart as a missionary, and it will never, ever be quite like that again. But, I am so very grateful that he chose to be a missionary, never doubted that he would be, and always knew what the Lord wanted him to do.
Many years ago I was a sister missionary. I remember not wanting to put on my nametag in the MTC because then it was REAL and there was no going back. And then at the end of the mission, I didn't ever want to take it off. I still have my nametag in my dresser drawer. I've used it in RS lessons, in Primary, and love wearing it when I have those few occasions to do so. I wonder how Taylor will feel about his nametag. Will he be sick of it, or feel naked without it?
Nine days! I think I'm almost more emotional now than I was when Taylor was leaving in 9 days. I've been crying all day and can't really even say why. I told my husband yesterday that having a son ready and willing to go on a mission was something I planned for his whole life--and that day came. He was ready and he went. But now what? I can see into the future with a wife and kids, but I don't think I ever really planned for what happens after the mission and before the wife (hopefully there will be plenty of time!).
I'm excited, nervous, anxious, restless, grateful, happy and a total wreck. I feel like I'm nesting--like when a new baby was coming. I'm cleaning stupid things in my house that nobody will ever notice, especially not Taylor, and not even any guests who show up for his homecoming. This weekend I cleaned under my dresser and behind the bedside table. Last week I cleaned the tops of my cupboards. Tomorrow I'm going for window sills and around the edge of the kitchen floor where it meets up with the floorboards, under the cupboards. I think I'm going crazy! I'm not sure if I'll survive the next 9 days.
Deep breath.
As a missionary, I was just excited to go and have this great adventure. Sending my son was incredibly difficult, just like taking him to Kindergarten that first day. I knew he needed to go, I wanted him to go, but I wanted him home where I could always take care of him. I bawled and bawled and didn't think he could make it without me. But he did then, and he has now.
My little boy comes home in 9 days, and now I'm wondering if I can survive not having a missionary out in the field. He was safe. I knew where he was and what he was doing. He was truly on the Lord's errand and His servant. I understood his experiences because I had some of the same experiences. I was glad he was there, doing what he'd planned for his whole life.
Don't misunderstand, I'm thrilled to have him home, but I have truly enjoyed the blessings of supporting a missionary; financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I am so grateful for this wonderful opportunity he has had to teach the gospel, serve the Lord, learn a new language, broaden his horizons by seeing people in a different country and learning about their lives, culture, food and even their weather. I will be sad that he has to leave that, just as I was sad to leave the people I had learned to love and feel at home with on my mission. It will be hard to know that he has to come home and face "real life" and be part of the contributing adults to society. I know he'll miss having that spiritual mantel that he was blessed with when he was set apart as a missionary, and it will never, ever be quite like that again. But, I am so very grateful that he chose to be a missionary, never doubted that he would be, and always knew what the Lord wanted him to do.
Many years ago I was a sister missionary. I remember not wanting to put on my nametag in the MTC because then it was REAL and there was no going back. And then at the end of the mission, I didn't ever want to take it off. I still have my nametag in my dresser drawer. I've used it in RS lessons, in Primary, and love wearing it when I have those few occasions to do so. I wonder how Taylor will feel about his nametag. Will he be sick of it, or feel naked without it?
Nine days! I think I'm almost more emotional now than I was when Taylor was leaving in 9 days. I've been crying all day and can't really even say why. I told my husband yesterday that having a son ready and willing to go on a mission was something I planned for his whole life--and that day came. He was ready and he went. But now what? I can see into the future with a wife and kids, but I don't think I ever really planned for what happens after the mission and before the wife (hopefully there will be plenty of time!).
I'm excited, nervous, anxious, restless, grateful, happy and a total wreck. I feel like I'm nesting--like when a new baby was coming. I'm cleaning stupid things in my house that nobody will ever notice, especially not Taylor, and not even any guests who show up for his homecoming. This weekend I cleaned under my dresser and behind the bedside table. Last week I cleaned the tops of my cupboards. Tomorrow I'm going for window sills and around the edge of the kitchen floor where it meets up with the floorboards, under the cupboards. I think I'm going crazy! I'm not sure if I'll survive the next 9 days.
Deep breath.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
It’s a new year, more or less . . .*
more patience while driving – less frustration with dough-head drivers who shouldn’t be behind the wheel
more reading of good books – less mindless surfing
more compliments – less criticism
more new recipes cooked – less quick dinners that are lame
more cleaning at home – less dust
more reading of scriptures and church magazines – less time doing nothing
more exercise – less body fat
more healthy eating – less junk food
more kindness – less craziness with people who don’t know what they’re talking about
more sincere prayers – less “blah, blah, blah bless this and thanks for that” prayers
more smiles – less grumping
less spending when I don’t need to – more money in the bank
more preparation with whatever I need to do – less last-minute hurrying, not getting things done the way I would want
less anger – more being a duck—letting things roll off my back like water off a duck (I’m a duck! I’m a duck!)
less thinking I’m right – more seeing the other person’s side, even when they're wrong
less jumping to conclusions – more actual listening
more righteousness – less fence sitting and “holding on to my favorite sins”
less silly errands – more gas in the car
*(Yes, I know some of these should be listed as "fewer" instead of "less," but that doesn't work with the theme.)
There's a beginning. I have actually thought of tons more, but mostly at 2 in the morning while I'm laying in bed. So now I don't really remember them. Why do they always seem to be much more profound at that time?
more patience while driving – less frustration with dough-head drivers who shouldn’t be behind the wheel
more reading of good books – less mindless surfing
more compliments – less criticism
more new recipes cooked – less quick dinners that are lame
more cleaning at home – less dust
more reading of scriptures and church magazines – less time doing nothing
more exercise – less body fat
more healthy eating – less junk food
more kindness – less craziness with people who don’t know what they’re talking about
more sincere prayers – less “blah, blah, blah bless this and thanks for that” prayers
more smiles – less grumping
less spending when I don’t need to – more money in the bank
more preparation with whatever I need to do – less last-minute hurrying, not getting things done the way I would want
less anger – more being a duck—letting things roll off my back like water off a duck (I’m a duck! I’m a duck!)
less thinking I’m right – more seeing the other person’s side, even when they're wrong
less jumping to conclusions – more actual listening
more righteousness – less fence sitting and “holding on to my favorite sins”
less silly errands – more gas in the car
*(Yes, I know some of these should be listed as "fewer" instead of "less," but that doesn't work with the theme.)
There's a beginning. I have actually thought of tons more, but mostly at 2 in the morning while I'm laying in bed. So now I don't really remember them. Why do they always seem to be much more profound at that time?
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
November. A month of cooler weather. A month of baking new recipes as well as old favorites. A month of soup (well maybe a week's worth). A month of gratitude.
A couple of weeks ago in Sacrament Meeting, the speaker talked about gratitude and it made me think (yes, I listened). I remembered a couple of talks entitled "An Attitude of Gratitude"--one by President Monson and President Faust. I really like both of these talks.
The speaker also started a list of things he was grateful for, and since I was in charge of the lesson for Family Home Evening that night, I dug up these talks, read parts of them, and then we started our lists. One thing to be grateful for for each day of the month of November.
In no particular order:
1. Food. I've never gone hungry.
2. TV. I like watching TV with my family--it brings us news, important information, as well as entertainment.
3. Corky. I am still amazed that he really loves me and has stuck with me for all these 25 years. I love that he thinks of me, helps out, understands the things I need. He is kind, tender hearted and loving.
4. Taylor. I am so glad he chose to be a missionary, without hesitation. I am grateful he is having his missionary experience and enjoying it!
5. Our Home. At one time I thought we might never had a house, and yet here we are! We are safe, comfortable and together. We are a family, in our home.
6. Seminary. I didn't love Seminary when I took it, but it has, gratefully, changed since then. I'm glad my kids love it. Their testimonies have grown because of Seminary.
7. Books. I'm glad we have books because we can learn new things and go new places. I love that people are creative and can write down the stories in their heads.
8. Indoor plumbing. Hallelujah! I'm glad I live in a time with indoor plumbing (and feminine hygiene). Whew. Need I say more?
9. Music. I'm not a great musician by any means, but I really enjoy music. I think a lot of music has been truly inspired by God to let us know that he is mindful of us.
10. Parents and parents-in-law. I'm very grateful for their testimonies and their sacrifices for us.
11. Job. Even though I'd rather be home, I'm so grateful to have the money for our house and other things we need. I have a good job and work with good people.
12. School. I'm so thankful for people who have gone to school to be able to teach my children--they do much better learning from someone other than only me.
13. Modern Appliances. I'm grateful not to have to shovel coal or gather wood for a cookstove. It's so nice to have an electric stove, dishwasher, washer and dryer, and all the other wonderful modern inventions that make our lives easier.
14. Simona. I love being with Moni when she wants to be with me. We have fun together, learn a lot together. She is sweet, tender and thoughtful. I'm really proud of her with her choices for the future. Pretty cool stuff.
15. Dante. He is so eager to please me--he's terribly smart and talented. Dante can be whatever he wants to be. He is a good brother and has moments of being a peacemaker. He's a good helper and has a fun sense of humor.
16. Jake. He has been my little buddy for the last few years since it's just the two of us while he's off-track and getting ready for school. He has a little temper sometimes and gets mad at me, but still always wants my approval. He's not quite ready to let go. He is a budding artist and generous of spirit.
17. Computers. Corky and I both work with computers as a main source for our jobs. So much can be learned and understood because of them--I like the wide scope of information available.
18. Sisters. I'm so grateful to have sisters to share my life with. I have many good memories with them. I miss being close to them.
19. Gospel. I'm am truly thankful for the truth to be on the earth at the same time I am. My life would be completely different without it. I'm happy to have a glimpse of understanding of the Plan of Salvation.
20. Italy. My life is forever changed because of the people of Italy. I learned from them how to love others and how grateful I am for my life. It was incredible to be in a land that is spoken of in the New Testament. Kind of breathtaking to see all the ruins and artifacts and know that people so many years ago lived and breathed in the very same place.
21. Pioneer Heritage. It is incredible to me how my ancestors readily accepted the gospel and willingly walked across the country so they could worship the way they believed without any discrimination.
22. Gardens. I with I could grow a beautiful garden like my dad. I'm glad I could see how plentiful his was and how he always shared his bounty with others. I'm glad there are some people who seem to be able to grow a garden!
23. Prophets. I'm thankful for old-time prophets in the scriptures to teach us, for Joseph Smith and others from the early church who had so much courage. I'm thankful for a current prophet who understands our time and lets us know what Heavenly Father would have us do.
24. Mary. I love how Mary said "Behold Thy handmaiden." She was totally willing to do whatever was asked of her. I need to be more like Mary.
25. My body. Even though I may not have a beautiful body, it functions! Many people have so many physical limitations. I'm lucky to be healthy.
26. Landscape. I love the diversity of the land we live in and am grateful for the mountains, the grass, the trees, the flower, the lakes and streams. I love that our earth has so much to see and enjoy.
27. Temple. I got to take two of my kids to the temple in Twin Falls to do baptisms for the dead. It was wonderful. Ever since it was built, we have tried to get there, but it never worked out until this weekend. The workers were so sweet and helpful (they always are), and I loved being there with my mom and my kids. I even did some baptisms. We got 30 women and 20 men baptized. How wonderful. I love being in the temple. I love that we can do work for our relatives.
28. Savior. I don't even have words for how I feel about our Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful that He loves us and wants the best for us. I know He is mindful of me, you and everyone. I am thankful He sacrificed for each of us so we can be more like Him.
29. Friends. I feel like I have some very wonderful friends--people who love me, even though my faults are obvious. They are somehow willing to overlook those things and find something good in me. For that I'm grateful. It's so nice to know that I can call on people when I need help--and they help! It's fun to have someone to buy things for, to call and chat with, to cry when they need a listening ear. I hope I can be as good a friend to others as they have been to me.
30. Life itself. That may be lame. But that's what I can think of. I am grateful to be alive. I am thankful that somehow I was born and have a chance to live, to love, to know pain and sorrow--to feel.
A couple of weeks ago in Sacrament Meeting, the speaker talked about gratitude and it made me think (yes, I listened). I remembered a couple of talks entitled "An Attitude of Gratitude"--one by President Monson and President Faust. I really like both of these talks.
The speaker also started a list of things he was grateful for, and since I was in charge of the lesson for Family Home Evening that night, I dug up these talks, read parts of them, and then we started our lists. One thing to be grateful for for each day of the month of November.
In no particular order:
1. Food. I've never gone hungry.
2. TV. I like watching TV with my family--it brings us news, important information, as well as entertainment.
3. Corky. I am still amazed that he really loves me and has stuck with me for all these 25 years. I love that he thinks of me, helps out, understands the things I need. He is kind, tender hearted and loving.
4. Taylor. I am so glad he chose to be a missionary, without hesitation. I am grateful he is having his missionary experience and enjoying it!
5. Our Home. At one time I thought we might never had a house, and yet here we are! We are safe, comfortable and together. We are a family, in our home.
6. Seminary. I didn't love Seminary when I took it, but it has, gratefully, changed since then. I'm glad my kids love it. Their testimonies have grown because of Seminary.
7. Books. I'm glad we have books because we can learn new things and go new places. I love that people are creative and can write down the stories in their heads.
8. Indoor plumbing. Hallelujah! I'm glad I live in a time with indoor plumbing (and feminine hygiene). Whew. Need I say more?
9. Music. I'm not a great musician by any means, but I really enjoy music. I think a lot of music has been truly inspired by God to let us know that he is mindful of us.
10. Parents and parents-in-law. I'm very grateful for their testimonies and their sacrifices for us.
11. Job. Even though I'd rather be home, I'm so grateful to have the money for our house and other things we need. I have a good job and work with good people.
12. School. I'm so thankful for people who have gone to school to be able to teach my children--they do much better learning from someone other than only me.
13. Modern Appliances. I'm grateful not to have to shovel coal or gather wood for a cookstove. It's so nice to have an electric stove, dishwasher, washer and dryer, and all the other wonderful modern inventions that make our lives easier.
14. Simona. I love being with Moni when she wants to be with me. We have fun together, learn a lot together. She is sweet, tender and thoughtful. I'm really proud of her with her choices for the future. Pretty cool stuff.
15. Dante. He is so eager to please me--he's terribly smart and talented. Dante can be whatever he wants to be. He is a good brother and has moments of being a peacemaker. He's a good helper and has a fun sense of humor.
16. Jake. He has been my little buddy for the last few years since it's just the two of us while he's off-track and getting ready for school. He has a little temper sometimes and gets mad at me, but still always wants my approval. He's not quite ready to let go. He is a budding artist and generous of spirit.
17. Computers. Corky and I both work with computers as a main source for our jobs. So much can be learned and understood because of them--I like the wide scope of information available.
18. Sisters. I'm so grateful to have sisters to share my life with. I have many good memories with them. I miss being close to them.
19. Gospel. I'm am truly thankful for the truth to be on the earth at the same time I am. My life would be completely different without it. I'm happy to have a glimpse of understanding of the Plan of Salvation.
20. Italy. My life is forever changed because of the people of Italy. I learned from them how to love others and how grateful I am for my life. It was incredible to be in a land that is spoken of in the New Testament. Kind of breathtaking to see all the ruins and artifacts and know that people so many years ago lived and breathed in the very same place.
21. Pioneer Heritage. It is incredible to me how my ancestors readily accepted the gospel and willingly walked across the country so they could worship the way they believed without any discrimination.
22. Gardens. I with I could grow a beautiful garden like my dad. I'm glad I could see how plentiful his was and how he always shared his bounty with others. I'm glad there are some people who seem to be able to grow a garden!
23. Prophets. I'm thankful for old-time prophets in the scriptures to teach us, for Joseph Smith and others from the early church who had so much courage. I'm thankful for a current prophet who understands our time and lets us know what Heavenly Father would have us do.
24. Mary. I love how Mary said "Behold Thy handmaiden." She was totally willing to do whatever was asked of her. I need to be more like Mary.
25. My body. Even though I may not have a beautiful body, it functions! Many people have so many physical limitations. I'm lucky to be healthy.
26. Landscape. I love the diversity of the land we live in and am grateful for the mountains, the grass, the trees, the flower, the lakes and streams. I love that our earth has so much to see and enjoy.
27. Temple. I got to take two of my kids to the temple in Twin Falls to do baptisms for the dead. It was wonderful. Ever since it was built, we have tried to get there, but it never worked out until this weekend. The workers were so sweet and helpful (they always are), and I loved being there with my mom and my kids. I even did some baptisms. We got 30 women and 20 men baptized. How wonderful. I love being in the temple. I love that we can do work for our relatives.
28. Savior. I don't even have words for how I feel about our Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful that He loves us and wants the best for us. I know He is mindful of me, you and everyone. I am thankful He sacrificed for each of us so we can be more like Him.
29. Friends. I feel like I have some very wonderful friends--people who love me, even though my faults are obvious. They are somehow willing to overlook those things and find something good in me. For that I'm grateful. It's so nice to know that I can call on people when I need help--and they help! It's fun to have someone to buy things for, to call and chat with, to cry when they need a listening ear. I hope I can be as good a friend to others as they have been to me.
30. Life itself. That may be lame. But that's what I can think of. I am grateful to be alive. I am thankful that somehow I was born and have a chance to live, to love, to know pain and sorrow--to feel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)